March 30, 2023

It's always been me.

 Yesterday was evaluation day at work.

It was the day that my colleagues and I had been waiting for. It was that chance to sell ourselves to the managers, and big bosses as we scream, "Hey, boss. Here are the things that you made me do for the past year. Also listed are some things I did that were well beyond what's should be expected off of me."

I should be sad, and mad, being that I had been drained for so long and I should be giving more time to myself, to my friends, and loved ones (cliche as it is), instead of giving more time to my work.

But thinking about it now, I'm the same tired working-class hero from a year ago, I'm sad, but I'm not mad. I believe that the past year has taught me much, more than what I had during the first year and a half of my professional career. And I will always be thankful for that. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, eh?

And to be completely honest, life has not given me many options. Beggars cannot be choosers.

With that, I'd like to say that not everything from that evaluation seemed to be true. 

From someone verily deeply close to my heart told me during an argument that I haven't moved an inch from where I was months ago. I'd still get toxic over petty things; I'd still get mad over unnecessary things even if I'd rather be on the opposite side of the argument.

It had been said multiple times, "Nothing is forever," and "Change is always inevitable". However, I'd started thinking about the opposite of changing for the better.


What if I am changing, but I am vastly, but gradually, having my decline?



Tomorrow is today. Tomorrow is today.

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