It's always been me.

 Yesterday was evaluation day at work.

It was the day that my colleagues and I had been waiting for. It was that chance to sell ourselves to the managers, and big bosses as we scream, "Hey, boss. Here are the things that you made me do for the past year. Also listed are some things I did that were well beyond what's should be expected off of me."

I should be sad, and mad, being that I had been drained for so long and I should be giving more time to myself, to my friends, and loved ones (cliche as it is), instead of giving more time to my work.

But thinking about it now, I'm the same tired working-class hero from a year ago, I'm sad, but I'm not mad. I believe that the past year has taught me much, more than what I had during the first year and a half of my professional career. And I will always be thankful for that. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, eh?

And to be completely honest, life has not given me many options. Beggars cannot be choosers.

With that, I'd like to say that not everything from that evaluation seemed to be true. 

From someone verily deeply close to my heart told me during an argument that I haven't moved an inch from where I was months ago. I'd still get toxic over petty things; I'd still get mad over unnecessary things even if I'd rather be on the opposite side of the argument.

It had been said multiple times, "Nothing is forever," and "Change is always inevitable". However, I'd started thinking about the opposite of changing for the better.

What if I am changing, but I am vastly, but gradually, having my decline?

Tomorrow is today. Tomorrow is today.

Human: Rise Up, Human Up

Humans commit numerous mistakes, and shortcomings brought about by the pressure of society's academic, professional, physical, and emotional standards. It's a wonder how someone can masterfully keep up and ace life's different sets of trials.

However, more often than not, humans tend to fail in keeping up. Problems are rising, expectations are not met, small-scale issues are having focus greater than they shall have.  

This is when "resilience" comes into place. Resilience is a good thing, it means that one is able to bounce back from his mistakes and shortcomings. However, Resilience becomes a bad thing when it starts to become a thing.

Bouncing back over and over again can mean two things - either the universe is just not very friendly or the required motivation, attention, and effort are not yet set.

Another downside of not doing it right on the first time, or on banking on bouncing back, is that there is going to be less outside support. Little to no people may believe that things are going to be better this time around.  Little to no people can believe that the needed change is already in order. And the sad part of that side of the story is that nothing can be done to avoid or not have such discouraging thoughts. Blaming a customer for not believing in a product is not an option. However, one fact remains: there are mistakes, shortcomings, or failures that can never be redeemed or corrected anymore.

Photo by Sarah Kilian from unsplash.com

One option that can be done as a remedy is to stay true on the idea of bouncing back. Rise up, human up. Be that kind of human that is human enough to embrace the consequences brought about by the wrongdoings and shortcomings while also doing what is right to correct what needs to be corrected. Making things right is more about redeeming one's self from past mistakes and failures rather than trying to win back the lost outside support. 

Your second wind can finally be the win you need to turn the tables.

MOVIE REVIEW: Through Night and Day

As hopeless romantics, we have been yearning for a love that would last a lifetime, one that would go on through days and nights of romance with the one you love. 

"Through Night and Day" promotional poster for Netflix streaming from Twitter.com

Filipino movie, "Through Night and Day", gave us a love story so watchable you could finish it in one sitting. It won't take you a whole day and night to satisfyingly finish the movie, with the tearjerking romance of Ben and Jen.

The film started off smoothly, a typical opening scene for a love story. Ben asked for Jen's hand in marriage after serenading her in front of a huge local bar crowd. Jen gladly accepted the proposal and the marriage planning was on.

Part of the marriage planning was them going to Iceland for both a vacation and a chance for their prenup photo ops. During this stretch of the film, the struggles of dealing with your significant other were shown effectively. There was Ben's annoyance of Jen's indecisiveness, while for Jen, there was Ben's short temper. The film proved to be prophetic when it said that you would really get to know someone when you're just by yourselves, like when you're traveling.

However, the tragedy of the film was only beginning by then. The persistent misunderstandings of the two led to a break up while they were about to head home, during Jen's favorite time of the day on her favorite place.

Years went on and they were apart with new lives. It was revealed that Ben's got a new fiancée, while Jen's got a new problem to deal with - a disease that would eventually get the better of her by the end of the film.

The events of the third part of the film weren't about resolutions but about redemptions instead. Upon knowing about Jen's sickness, Ben reached out to her by making time to make up for lost chances they should've had, had they not broken up. Ultimately, Jen's exit was ushered through a sunset moment with Ben - a much better sunset moment that would take the place of the tragic sunset moment they had back in Iceland. 

The best bit of the film for me was when they were both lectured about love and long-term relationships from their parents. Compromise, patience, and respect should always be important elements of a relationship. Love alone couldn't do the trick. 

Shattered.

John Lennon said it was all we need.
Bernard Sumner said it would only tear us apart.

Glenn Frey and company kept the faith and said it would keep us alive.

Jason Mraz preached that it was still the answer.

Even when we are shattered.

Jason Mraz album art from Amazon